nightswimming
Love, friends, family and music.
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Vent thing.
Four years now. It’s kinda crazy. Last night I avoided everyone I knew and hung out with the two people that know what a transplant feels like.
We hung out, watched movies, went for a drive and ate food. We talked way too much and came to the conclusion that it’s been four years since getting sick and my lungs still hate me. At least my heart isn’t bad anymore.
Everyone says they get it and know exactly what happened and how I feel. Last night reminded me why I was a shit boyfriend to my ex for the passed two years but made me want a relationship again. Weird, man. It also reminded me how much of a bad friend I can be. I love all of you guys that have helped me through bad times.
The passed few months have been up and down but I think last night pulled me out of my bad place. I don’t talk to anyone about this stuff. It’s the worst.
To start it off, my birthday was weird. I turned twenty two in the back of a van in a different state to all of my family and friends. I saw a few of my best friends but besides that we played a show and tonnes of strangers said happy birthday but it’s not the same. On the four year anniversary of my transplant I got a letter off of my donors family. They wrote a letter to say they hope I’m doing well and that they don’t hate me. They think of me as a son since I have their Son’s. It’s probably weird, but four years later and I still feel extremely guilty.
The letter pushed the point that I’ve been struggling with being really sick, being unhappy with work and studying, being caught between friends arguing and a lot in general. I think I worked out most of it. I think only the guys in my band have really known all the bad stuff. I still try to do everything though even when I probably should learn to say no sometimes. It basically made me think “Why can’t I be happy if I want to be?”
I might not even be a bad friend to Parker anymore.
(Source: lishlashlove, via stephaniecansee-deactivated2012)
(Source: lishlashlove, via stephaniecansee-deactivated2012)
I haven’t used this in awhile but I thought I’d post something today since I’m on a two hour train trip by myself.
Hiiii! If you read this I hope you’re well! For the first time in what I think is months I’m actually doing great. It could’ve just been winter and the gloomy look it puts on all the trees, I don’t really know. Everything is going good though.
I’m heading down to see Man Overboard play today with so many amazing people. I’ve been hanging out for this since last year and to top it off my band is playing with them tomorrow! It’s going to be an amazing show and I think we’re playing new song.
Lately, my health has actually improved a lot. I’ve been making sure to stick to healthier options (besides when playing a show haha) and the doctors have said nothing but good things about my heart stuff.
Playbook is currently writing a whole heap of new songs at the moment. We’ve got three down full band, one of which we should be playing at the MOB show currently titled “Polaroids & Picture Frames” and another six or seven we’re working on. I think plans are to release an acoustic thing, a split and another EP shortly. We’re demoing some of the new stuff before we go to Sydney in a few weeks for our first tour/mini tour thing. We get to play and party with Sunsets again while we’re there! Me and Parker also decided we’re getting tour tattoos too. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to get to do this with my best friends.
I think the current PMA is also being helped by how good my friends have been feeling too, meeting girls, jobs, seeing a best friend after months and things working out for them. Love your friends, die laughing.
I’m pretty sure some guy watched me type this whole thing. I feel like a douche and I’m pretty sick of public transport and having to drag my guitar around everywhere.
Loveee!
